Thursday, September 8, 2011


Leaving oneself open to hurt, to criticism, to ridicule and pain is no small thing. To do it repeatedly, even after betrayal and injury, would seem madness.

I must be mad.

Allowing myself to show the most vulnerable sides of myself has been difficult, but also very rewarding. P somehow manages to tread the very fine line between Mastery and humiliation. When he calls me his slut, it is devoid of the connotations most people would derive from it. Instead, I hear his pride of ownership, his pride in my sexuality and in my need for him. Rather than embarrassing me, or humilitating me, it validates me. I am totally rewarded for my vulnerability. He gives me what I need in every way.